Shalom, First let me start by telling you that believing in jesus/yeshua and identifying yourself as a Messianic Jew you are TOTALLY going on the wrong path. There is enough information out there that shows and proves that Messianic Jews are wrong, that everything you are thought about jesus/yeshua is WRONG and it is totally against what the Torah teaches us. Please take the time to visit these two websites that hold a lot of information proving that yeshua and messianic Judaism www.outreachjudaism.org - By Rabbi Tovia Singer www.jewsforjudaism.org There is so much information out there to prove the TRUTH. Once you are ready to accept the Truth that yeshua is fake and that you are going down the wrong path, then I can help you find your path to truth and the path to G-d Till then wearing a Yamaka is pointless and observing and holiday is pointless. You also have to find out if you are Jewish, cause your grandmother can be Jewish but if your mother is not Jewish that you are not Jewish. I have helped thousands of non-Jews and Jews leave their fake believe in yeshua and guided them to the path of Truth that will lead you to the world to come, and I will be happy to help you also, but first do your research right so you can be ready to move on Wishing you success in your search for Truth Rabbi Alon Anava