Shalom  Without first meeting and getting more information from you it would be difficult to say exactly the cause of your situation.   As for common kabbalistic reasons behind traumatic  situations like this at early ages the issue frequently comes from some past life cyclical events that require a harsh event for either the male or female half .  Sometimes a soulmate can experience by choice part of the suffering or difficulty of their other half.   Now there are many other potential causes but children usually know and choose their life and home scenario.   As for orphans it’s known to them the future scenario which they are waiting to experience as its simply the effect of a past life decision .   I hope that this helps.   R.Yosef Karpman