I became a baalas tshuva early in my life. But i still had time to do things that were very foolish. At age 18 i left everything, gave my life to Hashem and became religous in Jerusalem. I couldnt bring myself to tell my prospective shiduch of this reality, of the fact that i did all those mistakes, i was very vey ashamed of admiting to it, specially when i heard that this boy, i was going to go out with became realigious very early and didnt have experiences. We met each other and we were soon enganged, I carry a big pain, from guilt, from all the things i did and also for not admiting to it, i am afraid I shouldnt be married to my husband and that Hashem is very mad at me. The man I married is ger tzedek that comes from a special family of frum jews and leviim, very early he understood that this world has to have a purpose. and he found on his greatgrandfather Avraham tzemach a pillar and he came back to truth judaism. he is kind and very Yras shomaym. But i can never really enjoy life because of this sense of guilt and pain. Does tshuva change nature? I want to fix  and free myself from this web, i want to build a jewish home with truth but how can i admit to all those mistakes, how can i forget? please help me.